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Don’t Waste Your Money: Jupiter Ascending Review

Last night, Chris and I went to see Jupiter Ascending, a movie by the Wachowski siblings. The movie looked like it could be a decent sci-fi that at least provided a fun viewing with some solid action. When the movie was initially moved up to a February release from its originally planned July, we knew it couldn’t be a good sign, but coming from the creators of awesome flicks like The Matrix, V for Vendetta, and Cloud Atlas, we were still hoping for something average. Sadly, we both found ourselves extremely disappointed, so here are our quick reviews.

Chris: D+

There’s a good movie somewhere inside of Jupiter Ascending; unfortunately, it’s not the movie that we get to see. The Wachowskis do a fantastic job at creating an interesting, very vibrant world, but the characters that populate it are not nearly charming or compelling enough to elevate the meandering, convoluted story that we’re given. Ultimately, I left Jupiter Ascending with confirmation that Channing Tatum has grown as an actor (he’s one of the few redeeming qualities of the film) and the desire to see Mila Kunis in a more serious, action-filled role. Sadly, the character of Jupiter is anything but that (she’s passive the entire movie, as she essentially just gets dragged from place to place and is told what to do), and Jupiter Ascending is not the fun, sci-fi film I was hoping it was going to be; instead it’s just another piece of February junk filling screens at theaters.


Blaise: F

Jupiter Ascending had so much potential, and after seeing the movie, that’s all it will ever be; a hollow void of hope. The Wachowski siblings always seem to have great sci-fi ideas but this movie failed to execute anything in a coherent manner and left me, as a viewer, confused, bored, and apathetic. The character of Jupiter (Mila Kunis) never actually did anything on her own but was swept up into this story, Caine (Channing Tatum), seemed like a cool character but the best scenes he was a part of felt the shortest, and two other massive actors (Sean Bean and Eddie Redmayne) were barely involved in the movie for how much they are featured in the previews and commercials. Jupiter Ascending had a score and special effects that felt right out of the Star-Wars prequels but lacked any depth and was an overall waste of time.


Avoid Jupiter Ascending, it’s not worth your money. Check out the first podcast this Sunday to hear Chris and I go more in depth and discuss why the film was so horrible.

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